A view from my side.
Smart. Scary smart. The kind of smart that has you thinking Harvard, Yale, Princeton…”I’d like to thank the Nobel Committee” kind of smart. As a young child, he was inquisitive. He loved books. He loved to stack blocks and cans. He loved to investigate. He walked at 10.5 months. He began talking early. He was amazing.
As he grew, he was always asking questions. All of the “why does it…” and the “how does it…” and the “what if…” kinds of questions that put a smile on your face and irritate the crap out of you at the same time. He began to read voraciously. He retained much of what he read. If you questioned him about a book, he could answer you. We would take trips to the book store and he would sit in the children’s section and read entire books, putting them back on the shelf as he finished.
When we put him in an independent PK4-6 school, he started to have problems with a few of the kids. They didn’t see the world the same way he did. He wanted to play games strictly by the rules of the game as it “should” be played. They wanted to improvise and make adjustments by agreement. He wouldn’t stand for that. Sometimes, he would just quit. Other times, he would try to force the “real rules” on the group. Other times, he would hit.
His behavior resulted in our being asked to change schools. Not wanting to drive to two different schools, we moved his brothers along with him. It was the first of many talks, discussions, meetings with administrators, detentions and in school suspensions.
Ex#2 couldn’t handle the behavior. Over the course of time, it contributed greatly to the split with her. She didn’t know how to respond. She felt that, if he is so smart, why can’t he behave? Why can’t he do what I tell him to do? Why can’t he simply “learn” from the discipline? She and I split when he is 6 years old and the boys and I moved from Texas to North Carolina.
Years go by. The behavior problems persist. He argues with his teachers in school whenever they make a mistake. he points out every little error they make. They interpret it as mocking/ridiculing behavior and punishment him for it. One teacher, so fed up with him correcting her on matters of Greek mythology, sends him to the office. He gets a 2 day suspension for knowing more on the subject but not knowing enough to keep his mouth shut so he doesn’t show up the teacher as a 3rd grader. Ah, yes…the joys of modern public education.
Another move and we find ourselves in yet another school. In the suburbs of Raleigh, NC, his problems begin pretty much where they left off. Pokemon, Yugioh, and other games along those lines don’t endear him to the crowd at this school. He has never learned how to make friends. He has never learned how to fit in. He is ostracized. He is picked on. He stands up for himself, refusing to be beaten on. He is suspended yet again.
By now, I have met the woman that will become Ex#3 and she brings a new set of eyes to the situation. She provides some information that I take to yet another doctor. Several doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, university hospitals and years after it all started in Texas, we finally get a diagnosis…Asperger’s Syndrome.
To be continued…