A view from my side.
This weekend officially marks the beginning of summer in the United States. Memorial Day weekend has become the weekend when swimming pools open, when the water parks open, when the summer fees go into effect at most parks, zoos and museums. Our summer season used to stretch through Labor Day, the first Monday in September, but schools in so many states start in mid August now, so summer has been cut short.
For me and Kid#1 and Kid#3, this Memorial Day weekend will find us boxing up our “stuff” as we prepare to move. We moved into this apartment in Sept, 2008. It was luck that brought us here, the only three bedroom available in the short window of time that I gave myself to move out when I decided to make Ex#3 an Ex. Talking about that time to someone the other day, they told me there was a special place in heaven for me. When I asked why, they said that anyone that anyone who could put up with her for as long as I did deserved such a place. I laughed out loud but it was also another example of unsolicited, independent confirmation that it is not “just me.”
So anyway…boxing up. This weekend we begin to box up our stuff in earnest. The projected move date is June 18-20, somewhere in there. Most of what we have to box is books, movies and kitchen stuff. It won’t take long and much of it is done already. But, I want to go ahead and get it finished. The boys will bitch, moan and complain, as boys do, but when they realize that we’ll be done in a matter of two hours, they’ll be fine with it.
While I have enjoyed living here, this is the place we “fled” to when I moved out 4 years ago. In what had become a regular recurring heated exchange with then soon to be Ex#3, she asked me “Well, then, which one of us is moving out?” She had asked that question a few times in previous arguments but this time I looked her in the face and said, “I am. As soon as possible.” I turned and left her standing there, stunned and quiet. The boys and I were out two weeks later in a Chuck Luck find of an apartment.
It was then that we crammed our lives back into apartment living. We had not lived in an apartment since 1999. Even when we had temporary housing for a few months in 2002, we rented a house while I found one to buy. The move into this apartment was mostly to get away from the situation we were in at the time. I stayed here so as not to disrupt the lives of the boys any further during their high school careers. No need to force yet another change in school, I’d stay put till Kid#3 graduated. Which, congrats to him, he did just a few nights ago.
So, now I move to a new place. Another apartment and another transition. I will take this year to figure out where I want to live. There are many communities in the area, each offering different life style choices. From the quiet country settings in the county to the Bohemian mix of urban life, the choices here vary widely and all within a reasonable driving distance from work. It all depends on the life style I wish to assume as I enter the next phase of my life.
I thought of staying in this place another year, but I need to put aside the reasons for being here and move on. As I said, I was here to get away from something, then stayed here as a benefit for the boys. Now it is time to do something for myself and to take care of myself. Selfish, yes, by definition, but still reasonable and understandable. The place I’m relocating to is within a few miles of where I am now, is larger and less expensive. While not as conveniently located, the extra 5 miles won’t really factor in decisions about where I go and what I do. Relocating will finally push aside the last vestiges of a past life. A symbolic gesture and a new beginning.
While I will certainly get out and about this weekend, I doubt I’ll travel anywhere. I think I’ll simply take the time to rest, relax and recover from the long spring and the havoc of recent events. And, I’ll spend some of it boxing up so I can move on.